Compassion Clubs

Compassion Clubs are meant to be filled with people who are compassionate. People who want to help people get their cards, help them to set up their own grow room or just make a few new friends. Lo and behold less than three months into the new law the money hungry idiots are already out in full force trying to ruin it for the rest of us. I have on my sidebar a link to the MMMA site. This is where I see these people at work for their own benefit. Coming out of the gate and being one of the first members I thought this site was the bomb. It was going to be THE place to get your information. Now I am not so sure I would recommend the site. The argument starts at whether being a caregiver will provide enough money to support yourself. This question has no answer because not everyone needs the same amount of money to live per year, and the price for caregiver services is negotiable between the caregiver and patient. Now remember, you may enlist a caregiver to grow your plants for you, and you are paying that caregiver for the service of growing your plants. You are not paying for the product that the plant produces. That being said, there are people on the site who just won't be mindful of the law and they put up posts offering 1/4 oz for $$ , 1/2 oz for $$ and so on. This is illegal. These are the same people who have no intentions of getting their caregiver cards and acquiring patients legally....They just want to sell some pot man. There was one guy on there today doing just that. He was like "Man, I got the best shit for cheap prices!" He was accusing others of ripping people off by charging four times what he was going to charge. I was actually the first to call him out on his post and play stupid by asking him if he really meant to present it that way. The next poster told him outright he was doing it illegally. Then there was a post in support of this guy by J. J told him it was a great idea to sell his stuff this way. Told him to ignore the haters... Gave the guy his name and email address right in the post and told him he would love to work with him. As the responses to the post grew and turned into a second post it came out that the original poster was a twenty three year old drug dealer who had no knowledge or intentions of helping anyone but himself. He ended up attacking another female member in his post and called her some horrible names and made crude sexual references to her body. The posts were pulled and the posters last words were pretty much FU to anyone who didn't agree with his ways. This idiot J is the reason I am writing this post. First of all think about it. He had no reservations about giving this guy his personal contact information in a public forum. He saw someone else interested in making money and didn't want to miss out. I was the secretary for the local compassion club with two other people. J pushed his way in there and took over the last meeting using it for his own agenda. He spouted of some crap about how if we would all join his co-op and do it his way then no one would ever have to run out of meds or pay high street prices. I sat at my table and was so pissed because this is not what I was there to promote. It was not legal and it was not for anyones benefit but his own. After the meeting I was invited to his house. He was relentless as he paced in his own living room spouting profit numbers, dates and whatever else he could come up with to get me to part with my money. He even took me downstairs to see his grow room. It was nice. Back upstairs he watched as I put out some money for meds from the other leader of our club, he then tried to sell me some seeds. I explained that I was not going to plant anything until I was legal so I really didn't need them, but that didn't stop him from trying again, and again...And again. I finally understood a few minutes later as his wife poked her head in the room and asked him if they were going to visit his dad later in the day. Without missing a beat he replied that they could, but he would have to come and get them all because he didn't have any gas money! Wow. guess selling me those seeds for cheap was his last chance for cash. I found out a little while later that he told another person his wife had no knowledge of his grow room. The same grow room I stood next to her in a week prior. I also found out the reason he is pushing so heavily to get patients... He didn't have any at the time I was there, but he had a grow room getting ready to harvest. Oops. No patients and lots of product = pure profit if he can fast talk people into buying his story. Hence he is using the website and the compassion club as his sales floor. Long story short. The two clubs have split and J and G have gone their own way, and S and I have gone another. It looks like as time goes on J is not going to give up. He continues to give compassion clubs a bad name by acting greedy on the website and not caring about what is legal. Sadly he is hardly the only person out there doing this just for profit. I don't think you can make a living being a caregiver. It would take a large scale operation outside of the home with many more plants than one person could handle. It would also take out all of the compassion, and that is what I love most about this law. Helping people. I made a promise to one person just last Saturday at our compassion club meeting. He is elderly and on a fixed income but he needs meds. I am going to help find him a caregiver that really cares about him. All I want is to see him smile and be free from the pain. I would love to make lots of money. Who wouldn't? But what would make me truly happy is to have the assurance I will never ever have to go without meds again for the rest of my life. To me, that is winning the lottery.

In the blink of an eye

It's been awhile since I posted. 

I haven't had any good meds for awhile now. Without them I simply cannot function. I need medical marijuana to live my life. If I don't have it things are bad. Very, very bad.

I am on my way to Southfield July 6th to get my papers signed for my card. I was supposed to go in June but money ran short and the water pump in the van took a dump. It devastated me to miss that appointment. There is nothing on this earth that is going to keep me from going to this next appointment, so if you happen to see a wild haired hippy chick on the side of the freeway thumbing it to Southfield that day...Please have some compassion and pick me up eh? 

I have to share this too. The day before I missed my appointment our beloved dog Gizmo got out of the house. He had alzheimers pretty bad, and if he got past the fence he couldn't find his way back. we spent all of Sunday and Monday searching the city streets. We used craigslist to get the neighborhood involved and Tuesday night we got word that he was spotted by the on ramp to the freeway. He had been hit and had died. Gizmo was a member of  our family for twelve years.   It was horrible. 

Later that week I had an appointment with my regular physician to go over the test results of my EMG.   My other half has been frustrated for awhile watching me go to the Dr. over and over and nothing changes. So being the loud guy from Brooklyn, NY that I fell in love with he has called the office and spoke up on my behalf several times. When I am in a lot of pain I guess he speaks just a little louder than they would like. 

The result... I was told if I felt they weren't doing a good enough job with my health, and if I wasn't happy, then maybe I should find a new Dr., and just like that, I was released.

Well Fuck !!

So I'm trying to find another Dr.   I really don't want to talk about it right now.  

So with all of that frustration going on along with not having good meds I have fallen apart. I have been yelling and screaming at anything that moves. My relationship may or may not be over at this point... Bless Chris for being strong when I am losing it. I am so mean to him and I can't help it. I don't mean it and he knows it but I am telling you that I am truly mentally ill and marijuana is the ONLY thing in this world that will calm me down enough to even be reasonable and rational. I get manic, and when I get manic I cannot think straight. My brain is not my own and the words and actions that I express are vindictive to anyone and anything. I get severe panic attacks that make me physically ill.  To give you an example... I changed my direct deposits from our joint bank account into my own account. I threatened to call child protective services on Chris and tell them he was a pedophile so that he could never have visitation with his twelve year old daughter again.  I threw a kitten. He's ok. I broke things in raging anger.

My parents left with my kids  after driving two hours to get them late this afternoon. My son called them last week crying while I was fighting with Chris. He's sixteen and he's seen this behavior come out of me far too much over the years. In a moment of clarity I had Chris call them and ask them please to come and take them for a few days.  I just need a break.

The mania is still running strong right now. I have had relief twice thanks to a dear compassionate friend who invited me over and smoked joint after joint of high quality meds with me. It calms me down like no other medication could even touch. Case in point, one of the visits was on fathers day.  On the way home from our friends house I felt so awesome that I asked Chris to pull over so I could give him a *ahem* proper fathers day present.   Yeah, it makes that much of a difference when I smoke. When I wasn't high anymore, the bitch was back.

I'll be back strong when I get some money and get some meds.  My friend is coming over soon to help me start my own grow room downstairs and I am stoked. His plants are just starting to bud and as I stood there looking at it my mouth was watering because I know that some of that harvest is gonna be mine!!!!!  And he has offered to help me from start to finish so I never, ever, ever, ever have to go without meds again. Thank you so much S.  Get this... S...The guy I just met who is helping me...our fathers were delivered by the same country doctor in my lil hometown of less than 500 people two hours away. His dad was delivered on a kitchen table, my dad probably was too.

God has a great sense of humor.

Peace

It Still Belongs In the Box

So the church service I attend is contemporary.  It's a come as you are service with a live band and a large screen with the words and moving graphics so there is no need for hymnals.They darken the room and jam for the first forty-five minutes every Sunday.

After this part is done, and the room is still darkened the Pastor stands from his seat in the fourth pew back.  He begins with a prayer, and then two ushers take wireless microphones around and if you would like to publicly proclaim what is on your heart that morning you are more than welcome to express yourself. After that, Pastor holds a locked box which contains private prayers that are never looked at and are shredded directly after the service. We pray for what is in the box as well.

I am so thankful to God for allowing my state to legalize medical marijuana. I am so thankful that He has allowed me to obtain my card so easily. 

God made marijuana. It is a plant in the ground designed by him.

So.... Would it be improper to thank God publicly in a contemporary service for helping us to live a pain free life legally?

I'm not trying to make this a political discussion by any means. I'm just afraid of being that middle aged coo-coo head that people talk about because I speak out about what I believe in.  I mean, now that I'm legal does it make it right for me to just throw it into every day conversation just because I can?  Uhh, no. Can you say uncomfortable?  Although I'm seriously considering thanking the mail man in some kind way on the day he brings my card, and yes I will tell him why. 

I just answered my own question, and wrote a title for this post. Yes, it still does belong in the locked box. Sorry God.  But I really do not think that most people are not ready to openly discuss middle age moms using medical marijuana. Sadly, I don't think that even in a contemporary church service it would be welcomed. I kind of think afterwards I would be pulled aside and nicely asked to not be so open... At least for awhile. To be fair though, I couldn't get away with it at the PTA meetings either. They would never let me have anything to do with bake sales again!!

Tomorrow night is a city wide prayer event at our local events center. They are hoping for a very large turnout to pray for our city and of course anything and everything else.  Let's see what gets thrown out there tomorrow, you never can tell!

White Widow. The strongest weed in the world.

Can you imagine?

Somewhere it's 4:20

Ha! 

7:20 Michigan = 4:20  California.

That's fucking cool. 

Thanks Chris for pointing this out. You rock.

And it was just that easy

I'm legal.

Just like that.

 I told you I faxed in my paperwork Friday afternoon to the clinic in southfield and they called me tonight at 7:20 p.m. to make an appointment for me at their clinic. They asked how soon I wanted to come. Right now I made it for two  weeks out because the cost is $200.00, however, if there is any way we can afford it sooner I am off! 

I can not believe they called, and so quickly! Even after I made my appointment I asked the guy again if this meant I was approved. He laughed like he had heard this mixture of relief, disbelief, happiness,  and ecstasy with just a little bit of good bud thrown in more than a few times. 

How Rockin' of a fourth of July it would be to have my medical marijuana card in hand to celebrate! 

 I have waited for this day for twenty years.